Expat Experience: Thoughts of Home
1:32 AM
This post may be long overdue but I don't want to miss participating in the Expat Blogger Link-up called The Expat Experience hosted by Molly @ The Move to America. For this week's theme "Thoughts of Home," we will share what we missed the most and if we have experienced expat blues. Join in the fun by clicking here and feel free to share some love.
When I first moved to Dubai, you might think it's a ridiculous statement, but in all honesty, I didn't suffer much from homesickness. You might think, "What??"
The thought of homesickness did cross my mind during two rare occasions; once was when I was living alone while physically ill and when I had to work during my first Christmas Eve in the Middle East away from family.
When I first moved to Dubai, you might think it's a ridiculous statement, but in all honesty, I didn't suffer much from homesickness. You might think, "What??"
The thought of homesickness did cross my mind during two rare occasions; once was when I was living alone while physically ill and when I had to work during my first Christmas Eve in the Middle East away from family.
If you've been reading this blog for a while, you might have read that I was ecstatic when the Dubai-bound plane took off. I watched my country shrink from my airplane window with glee. It took me many years before I came back to visit my home country after my first departure. I suppose because...
I have always been a lost soul trying to find where my home is.
Since these are my thoughts of home and it may not necessarily be homesickness-cure related- Sorry (apart from the home-cooked meal cravings), I would like to share a past post in trying to find where that home is.
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Finding Home
The past decade, I spent all my life looking for that perfect feeling of home. This quest motivated me to start traveling. At a tender age of 4 when I grew fascinated by a book that my Mom gave me, the fire in my heart to leave my country burned so bright. Somehow, I felt I didn't belong there. It is a beautiful country to see as a tourist, but at a young age I felt like an alien. I remember looking up at the night sky wondering if before we were born, we were given a choice, maybe there was a mistake. There was something missing. So this search for home and peace, wherever that may be, became a distant goal.
Throughout those trips, I took in their beauty and got acquainted with every place I visited. You might have noticed that, I always write about France because it is a country, where I first felt that feeling of "home". Yes, I'm definitely a Francophile. France is my refuge where I go to, to recharge. If in need of inspiration, there's plenty there. It's even amusing that every time I left France, I always start crying in the train. I'm just weird like that. When I am in Dubai, I listen to french online radio and bask in the beautiful voice of their advertisements, indulge more in french cuisine and watch a lot of french films because they somehow make me happy.
Until recently, I found peace, that goes beyond things or places. I still don't know when I stumbled upon it. I found it right after a really dark period in my life when I finally decided to give up the search. My last trip to France, in September 2012, I was surprised that I didn't cry in the train anymore as I watched the platform disappear.
You might notice that I started writing a lot more about where I temporarily live now. I am happy to be able to see the beauty of what I once saw as a mere sand pit and a massive city of cranes. I suddenly noticed this appreciation for how red the sand is or how the sky can also be blue here (back then they always looked brownish grey all the time).
I'm holding on to this peace that I have found.
Maybe this time, I can make better memories
and finally find closure to a place I'm supposed to call home.
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Lately I have realized, how seeing my home country again after this post, being away made me appreciate it more. Top three things I miss:
- Tropical rain
- Adventure in the islands
- Bonding with my brother and sisters
Being away for far too long, I still sometimes feel like a stranger in my own country.
Yet, I have made peace with the past and renewed my relationship with motherland.
To those who feel like an emotional nomad like me, here are three tips:
- Keep searching and you'll discover a lot more about yourself as you do so.
- Re-visit the place we are trying to run away from and view it with an open heart.
- Let go of the past and forgive. Forgiveness opens doors to a lot of surprising things that await you.
Love & Light,
Arni